So, I know I said I was going to post a vlog, but I decided to just scrap it and do a quick blog about what has been going on here. Something major has been going on here. Also, I have been keeping a journal about everyday’s events, so I may be posting some journal entries as the year goes on. For context, a lot of you know that I have had a problem with foods and textures and a gag reflex which can make eating certain foods a bit more difficult and has made me a picky eater. To help explain what has been going on, I wanted to post some journal entries.
9/21/21 Tuesday, Day 11
“Today was a great day… Our session was with someone named Caroline. She talked to us about miracles and the power of God’s healing. At the end, some of us who needed physical healing, could raise our hands and have people pray for them. I raised my hand. I wanted to be healed from my problem with food and textures. My team and my close friends laid their hands on me and prayed for me. To test to see if it worked, they went and got an apple.” Normally, apples are a trigger food for me that I will gag on, that’s why I chose an apple. “I took a bite and broke down crying. I had no problem eating it.” When I took the bite, I didn’t feel anything. No trigger, no stimulance. Nothing. I sat down and cried.For the first time, I felt like a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders. That problem that I carried for so long, I was finally free from. For the first time ever. I felt truly free.
But the story is not yet over. “I believed I was cured, but then afterwards, I began to doubt. I doubted that this wouldn’t be a problem anymore. At lunch, I felt my gag reflex slowly come back. I know God is able and I know he can. But I doubted Him.”
Then the next day.
9/22/21 Wednesday, Day 12
“Happy birthday Cam. I’m so proud of the man you have become. Love you Cam. Today was a hard day for me. This was the first time I had to reflect on my food limitation. God is able, but what would I have learned from it? After talking with Matt, we talked about ‘poor stewardship of healing’ which was very convicting for me because I doubted. I doubted that this would no longer be a problem.” What I mean by this is that because I doubted Him, I was poorly stewarding the healing. “Matt had also said that I should establish accountability. I have a lot of personal steak (haha) in this matter, and so this is a personal battle. But I can bring others alongside me to offer a gentle push rather than a shove. I need my team’s help, my squad’s help. During worship that night, Cole came up to me and said that ‘this is not a limitation, but a gift. One that God isn’t done using yet.’ When God made me, he did not give me a flaw, but a blessing. I think I know what this gift is now. The ability to unite my squad around me to this battle with words of encouragement.”
So the next day, I told everyone that I need their help. They were eager to join me. The one thing I told them that could help me out is if they saw my plate still mostly full of food, they could say “one more bite” to help me out, and so far it has.
Later that night, we had spaghetti for dinner. Noodles of any kind are a trigger food for me. But that night, they weren’t, and I felt fine. God is good.
