Boot Camp Part 2

So… I know this is a little late to say the least. I’ve had this one done for a long time, I have just been super busy (and maybe a little lazy) and had just forgotten to post it. But without further ado, here is the bigger story of boot camp. Keep in mind that this was written back in July.

Alright, I promised, and here it is. My story of bootcamp. A majority of context for this post will come from part 1 of my boot camp story. So if you haven’t already read it, I would highly recommend it as it will help you understand what is happening here.

There were a lot of factors that helped contribute to this story that should be acknowledged beforehand. For one, two weeks prior to bootcamp, I was in Arizona for a week on a really special grad trip with my Grandpa. Coming home, I had a lot of homework to catch up on. Plus, I also had to finish two weeks of school in one week because I was leaving for boot camp the next week and I was hoping not to do any homework or finals while I was down there (Though, it ended up that I still had to finish school while I was at bootcamp). Because of this, I wasn’t able to hangout with my friends or family at all during that week because I was so busy with school.

Another big thing that I should mention is that, for those of you who don’t know, I am a picky eater. This is because I struggle with textures and an overactive gag reflex, which can make eating new things very difficult. So only eating new foods for this week was very difficult. I was often hungry throughout the whole camp.

Alright, now for the actual story. For reference, there were three full days of camp, and this story takes place over those three days, so I will be referring to the first full day as day one. Now for the story.

The first worship of the first day was probably one of the best worship services I have ever been a part of. It was so powerful, it moved me to tears. It was so powerful and the Holy Spirit was present and felt. However, when it got to second worship, I didn’t really feel anything. It was almost as if God had just left. I was unable to feel Him. That got me thinking and doubting whether I was supposed to be on this trip or not. I felt God’s calling for me just fade away.

The next morning, we met after breakfast and our mentor asked each of us to share one word that best describes how we are feeling right now. A lot of people would respond with “excited” “ecstatic” or “curious”, but then when it was my turn. I paused for a second. The word that I chose was “conflicted”. I chose this word because I wasn’t feeling God’s presence. A lot of people seemed to take notice when I said this. And a lot of people came up to me afterwards to check in and see what was going on. I can’t remember if all of this happened before or after first worship though. It kind of all blurs together.

However, worship was also interesting. Before worship started, the worship leader said something along the lines of “Alright, before we begin, we are going to give you a few minutes of quiet to just be with the Lord”. So we all took some time to be with the Lord. The first thing that I prayed was “God, if I wasn’t meant to be here, then why would you move mountains for me to be here?”. Then I thought about what my family would want me to do. Then I started missing my family. I broke down and cried during that moment. I began sobbing. I felt one of the staff members at one point lay her hand on my back and start praying. One of my leaders in the back of the room told one of my friends to go and pray for me as well. So he did. He came over and laid his hands on me and prayed as well. Afterwards, he would mention that he prayed like he never prayed before. He was overcome with the Holy Spirit and had no idea where this prayer was coming from.

After he prayed for me. I got up and prayed for a friend who was next to me and also crying. After that, I spotted two of my fellow squad mates, off to my left holding each other in tears. They both were questioning whether they should go on this trip as well. I felt God calling me to go to them and pray for them. So I did. I laid my hands on both of them and prayed for both of them. One ended up getting sick and had to go home from boot camp later that afternoon. Later that night, the other announced to the group that she felt that God was calling her away from the world race. (We got a text from the first girl a few days ago saying that due to some health related problems, she will also not be joining us on the race anymore.)

At some point during that day, I met with our male mentor. Because there were so few male racers, they had dedicated male mentors to help disciple the small number of guys. Talking with him, he said some things that have stuck with me. One of the things he said was “A lack of a yes, doesn’t mean a no”. These were words that I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

Fast forward to the sermon after second worship. This was a very good and very powerful sermon, but something strange happened. The worship band went back up on stage and the worship leader told everyone to bow their heads and that the staff were going to walk through and put their hands on each and everyone of us and pray for us. During this session, I felt three different hands lay on me. 

After a little while, the worship leader said that God had told her some things. The first thing that she said was that there were some people that were struggling with sin sexually. And she wanted them to raise their hands so that the staff could come and pray for them specifically. The second thing that she said was that there “were some of you in the room who are on the verge of tears right now and will need to go outside to let it all out. And one of you is a guy”. Immediately, I went from feeling nothing, to feeling everything. Tears rushed in. I got up and ran to the door. There was so much water in my eyes, I could almost not find the door.

I ran out the door and down a small ravine, got on my elbows and knees and cried. I cried more than I had ever before. At least that I can remember. I remember crying out that I didn’t want to do this anymore. That I just wanted to go home. That I didn’t want to be in the race anymore. I got up after a long cry and walked back up the ravine. I saw another member of my squad, up at the top crying as well. There were other members of other squads around there too. I sat down next to her and we basically cried in each other’s arms while another member from a different squad prayed for us.

We went back inside after a while and we talked about what was on our hearts. I told her that I was missing home and ready to leave. She told me that she was in a similar position. She said that she no longer felt God’s presence anymore. That she wasn’t able to trust God anymore, and if she was going to go on this trip, she would need to trust Him.

The next day, things were pretty normal. Worship was great. After lunch, we had our team building exercises. Our exercise for today was a skit, which I loved. (We killed it by the way). We watched all of the other teams go (they weren’t nearly as good as us though). We watched the girl from the night before and her team perform their team’s skit. They were performing and she slid on the ground as part of the bit that they were doing. She then said “I just broke my arm”. We were laughing and having a great time when she said again, “I just broke my arm”. She wasn’t doing a bit, this was real.

Panic ensued almost immediately. All of the leaders that were there rushed to help her. When she slid, she dislocated her arm, so nothing was broken thankfully, but still very painful. Everyone else rushed to the sides in complete shock to give her plenty of room. Our camp leader drove her to the hospital. Something happened that I have never seen before.

Our first reaction was for all 29 of us to stand in a circle, join hands, and pray for her. We started by praying all at the same time and then we each took turns praying for her. I remember my prayer for her. I said “that even though this is not the moment that she wants, this is the moment she needs. That You would show up to her in this moment and show her the power of Your healing”. She came back around dinner time, right before worship. She was in a sling that she had to wear for a week. We were all very happy to see her.

Worship that night was something that I had never experienced before in my life. This was our final worship of the trip, so it had to be special. And it was. Worship got to the point where we were no longer singing, but we were screaming. We were yelling. We were crying. We were cheering after every single line in the song. We were dancing. We were jumping. We were excited.

After a great worship service and a great message, The girl from before called everyone and told them to stay in the worship center for a minute. So we did. She gathered us into a circle while she was on the verge of tears. She said to us that she was so thankful for us all praying for her, and that she felt God’s presence through this hardship. We all cheered for her. There were a lot of announcements that night. Many more people from our squad would say something else too. One of our squad members said that she was going to be baptised in the fall when we come back by another one of our members (which is a really cool story for another day). 

During this time, I talked with her. I told her exactly what I prayed for her. We continued to talk for a short time when she asked if I had made up my mind about whether or not I was going on the trip. I had a moment of clarity then and answered her. It was time to tell the rest of the group. 

For the final announcement of the night, I got up on a chair and addressed the group. I said “I know most of you, if not all you know, that I have had a hard time knowing if this was my calling, but God has led me to a decision. I will be joining you for nine months.” The noise that I heard after this, was indescribable. Everyone cheered so loud, I couldn’t even register. There were hugs, cheering, it was a celebration.

One thing that has never made sense to me, was why everyone would cheer for someone who had reaffirmed a decision that he made a week ago. But that is just how great these people are. I cannot stress enough how great these guys are. Over the course of four days, I had grown closer to some of them, than anyone that I had grown up with. It truly is an incredible feeling being surrounded by a group of Christians who all want the same thing. Who are all driven by the Holy Spirit and have all chosen to be here, in this random place in Georgia.

I mentioned that I had a moment of clarity. I came to realize that if God can use me to help heal my own teammates who have everything that I do. Imagine how God could use me to help someone who has nothing, who is broken, who is fleeing for their lives, who has been betrayed and who has suffered. This is why I’m here. This is what I was made to do.  I’m so excited to be used by God.